sArdaRJI jOkeS.......

1- Sardar ji is buying a TV
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

2- Sardar Ji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

3- Sardar ji is filling up a job application
He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.
Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED
After much thought he writes: Yes

4- Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."
The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.
His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a Thermos flask."
The boss asks, "What does it do?"
He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

5- Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

6- What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

7- What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?
He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

8- There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.
They were planning for a free Punjab. Santa Singh raised a point,
"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...
"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then
we would become a State of USA and develop automatically."
All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd
was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE
WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

9- Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned
to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

10- Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

11- How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

12- Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

13- What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

14- What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you? Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

15- How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

16- What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears? Trying to hold on to a thought.

17- Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

18- Why can't Sardars make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe.

sOmE oF thE bESt 1LiNeRs......................

* Fire Fire ! Go Call Fire Dept.

* Cool Man ! But Dont Get Freeze

* Out of my mind. Back in five minutes

* Unite against togetherness!

* Reality Sucks! I’m Gonna Keep On Dreamin

* If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...

* No fear! (NAME) is here!

* I Don’t Like The Drugs, But The Drugs Like Me

* Life's a bitch. Be its pimp

* I'm better than normal, I'm abnormal!

* A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts

* Save a tree, eat a beaver

* By the time you read this, you've already read it

* Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them

* Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it a hundred times

* I don't curse, drink and smoke. H*ly shit! My cigarette fell in my glass of beer!

* Dont steal, the government hates competition

* If you hate me, i love you too. It ain't my fault i'm better than you

* Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

* Save a horse, ride a Cowboy!

* The higher you are, the farther you fall

* Intelligence could be instinct which has it at the wrong end

* All good boys and girls will go to heaven thats y i wasnt invited.

* When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!

* What is arrogance? Thinking you can compete with me!

* I’ve lost my phone number, can I have yours?

* Not me, not now, maybe later...

* Life's a beach... Surf it up!

* Trying is the first step towards failure

* I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot

* If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

* Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but milk do?

* Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone

* I'm more drunk than a three-legged chicken on a wet patch of ice!

* When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better

* To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all life's problems

* WaNnA PLaY ArMy?? ... Ok! SiT BaCk AnD i'LL BLoW ThE HeLL OuT oF YoU!

* I avoid temptation unless I can't resist it

* I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours

* Booze may not be the answer, but it helps you to forget the question

* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

* There are no stupid questions, just stupid people

* Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

* When cows laugh, does milk come out of their nose?

* Gravity always wins

* The easiest way to avoid a hangover is to just stay drunk

* There are some that are wise and others that are otherwise

* I'm not an alcoholic. I am a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings

* Buy land, they have quit making it!

* Don't judge a man by his boxers, it's what's inside that counts

* I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it

* Eat healthy, exercise more, still die

* Politicians prefer unarmed peasants

* Time is what keeps things from happening all at once

* Women/Men who seek to be equal with men/women lack ambition

* What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

* Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too..

* Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink

* Sometimes I wish I were you, just so I could be friends with me

* Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

* If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws

* I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun

* I have lost my phone number, can I have yours?

guys WELCOME to my blog....

sup to evry1 who visits ma blog...dnt xpect much as it is still under construction an all.......